Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize