Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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