you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
