She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
