I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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