he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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