direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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