Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
