been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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