We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
