hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
