Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
