and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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