Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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