some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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