Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
