Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
