I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
