Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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