she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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