its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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