you win again, gameday.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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