I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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