no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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