is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
