i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
