im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
