The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
