Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just cut my nipple shaving
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
