Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
