HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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