I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
