I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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