I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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