Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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