Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
time to smoke my breakfast
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
