One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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