I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize