i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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