I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
