is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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