It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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