im having a threesome with these popsicles
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
