We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the day after is always just damage control
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
