Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
