but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
