Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
