OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
