That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
