Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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