my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize