her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
