i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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