So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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