My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
40s are totally the cure
I have aggressive nipples.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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