That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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