i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
