he wants to bone in the snuggie
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
