i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He better not be in your backpack
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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