Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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