if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
