it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
