Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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