my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
