You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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