ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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