yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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