i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
