oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
