I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
