i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You are the jesus of drinking
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
