You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
