my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
