The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
