I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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